Puma, TWAC and Friends play Disc Golf: May 2014

Saturday, May 17, 2014

2014/05/17 - The warmup - part 1

(RP) - Springfield Park, JAX

It was a beautiful day for playing Disc Golf in JAX.

Clear skies and 72 degrees

Although our usual intrepid reporter has gone north with the April snow birds, he realized that it was time for a younger generation of new, raw journalists to take a beat and report on this match.

This was a simple practice match, as Simon "The Beast" Bouma freshly arrived from Canada via New Hampshire volunteered to help Rick "The Bushman" Pike practice his game before Puma comes down for the TWAC challenge later this year.

Bushie likes to think he remembers the cold weather from Iowa but seriously, he's been in Florida so long, anything below 60 starts comments about the winter jacket needs more goose down. Simon, however, having moved to New Hampshire from Hamilton, Ontario in time for one of the coldest winters in 30 years, has no trouble recalling the bitter cold.

The friendly match started and instantly, Bushie was up to his usual tricks. Bushie had arrived early and had seeded the first hole and the early part of the course to attract water fowl. Not just any water fowl, but specifically Canadian geese in an attempt to get Simon homesick and throw him off his game.

On the next hole, having failed in his quest to throw Simon off his game, Rick instead lost his own concentration and decided to take a walkabout (back towards hole 1's fairway).

By hole 4, much like Puma's last game at this course, Simon thinks this is too easy, and decides to go for Mexican and taco's the tree on his drive.

By hole 7, Rick is fairly relaxed by now, not having the pressure of trying to stay with Puma, says "I'm actually doing very well today" as he aims for the canal but misses (as usual).

Rick trying to tired Simon out, pretending he is lost, and "forgets" where hole 8 is. Simon, having been mentored by the master, Puma, looks for a handicap tee for Rick. The birds are chirping as Rick tries yet another feeble attempt to break Simon's concentration as Rick talks about Puma losing one of his beloved 2013 Ace Race discs in canal the last time they played. However a decent drive and approach followed by a stunning putt from Simon (but just about any putt over 2 feet that he makes is stunning), keeps the pressure on. Rick tries desperately to keep up.

The Bushman continues his "I'm unsure of course layout" scheme, Simon simply changes the subject to the various statistics of the different discs. Rick has a beautiful

drive, but end up behind a tree after second shot.

As taught by the DG Master Puma, Simon has a wonderful drive which causes Rick to interrogate Simon on how gets his drives so straight. Simon has a nice approach, Rick counters on his third shot to remain in contention.

On the next hole, Simon starts a discussion on tough courses (such as the ravine course at Fort Devens, MA). Rick notices the wind is picking up and decides he has to keep it low, mowing the grass. Rick's second shot is slightly higher and is grabbed by Spanish moss on the lovely fairway tree.

At hole 12, Simon's disc goes too high and fades away from the hole, Rick joins him. They are too scared to play the professional tees and have no issues stooping to the level of playing from the "ladies" tees. Carla would have been proud of them.

At hole 13, An awful jump on Simon's drive but Rick, sensing an opportunity, launches one towards the out-building's roof. Great recovery from Simon.

Hole 14: Simon almost lost his disc in tree on recovery shot. Rick is lost (again), (this boy really needs a GPS) finding hole 15 and leads the party on yet another a walkabout around tennis courts only to have them find themselves right next to the start of hole 14.

Hole 15: Rick aims for a pedestrian. Simon

waits patiently.

Hole 16: Simon aims for the canal. Rick hits another tree.

Hole 17: Simon takes the lead. Simon rub his putting skills off onto Rick and steals Rick's putting skills. Sadly, this is an improvement for Simon, while it hardly is noticeable for the Bushman.

Hole 18: Detour to see three eyed fish sign. Both Rick and Simon's score are close, so this is the deciding hole. Both drives of Rick and Simon were really nice. However, Rick folds under the pressure and finishes with a double bogey.

Simon: +5

Rick: +8

No discs in the canal.

TWAC - Home Page - The truth and nothing but the truth

For the complete TWAC story, visit
http://twac.webs.com/

2006/10/25 - The Finals

(DP) Jacksonville - October 27, 2006

The Champion

The survivors had arrived and started to warm up. After having
vanquished all other pretenders, now there were only 2 players standing.
Eric "Birdie" Taylor went to the empty soccer field and started the day's
preparations. As a man on a mission, Birdie started focusing on the task
at hand, much like a laser. Never having won the DGIMP trophy throughout
the year, added to his desire to bring home the championship. On the other
side, Darrell "Tetrahedron Master" was warming up, listening to the smooth
melody of Danny Gaston's guitar rifts and hearing echoes of ??? in his
head. (seriously, I have no idea what he hears in that head of his, but it's likely not fit to print)
TM was feeling good and relaxed having shot a 61 (matching his career best) the
previous night as a warm up.

Meanwhile, a motley crew of renegades also appeared at the course. The
newly formed rebel street league members had decided to crash the party.
The SLEDoG (Street League Exhibition Disc Golf) members were having a
great time, relaxed, laughing and singing who let the dogs out. The
founding members of SLEDoG (Sunshine and the Sith Lord) were joined by
Bushman Pike and Puma Pawson who had shown up for a TWAC challenge match.

Giving deference to the championship match, the players watched as
Birdie fired the opening salvo by throwing a beautiful laser guided first
disc, long straight, curving slightly to the left to end up nestled on the
top of the raised mound in clear view of the basket just 50 feet away.
Undaunted, TM fired a similar shot but just a bit too much to the left,
leaving a difficult 80 foot shot with overhanging branches. TM tried a
high arching shot around the branches, which went a bit too high and left.
Birdie uncharacteristically fired his birdie attempt high, wide right and
30 feet past the basket. Both players settled for bogey and proceeded to
the next hole. Birdie irked by his failure on the first hole, refocused
himself and threw a grace S curve to within 8 feet of the hole and made
his first birdie of the night. TM's tee shot wasn't quite as nice but he
still managed to make the first of 3 pars in a row. Eric had his usual
issues with hole #3 shooting a bogey and the match was tied again. TM
struggled a bit on 5 and 6 dropping a stroke on each hole but bounced back
with a long putt to save par on #7. Birdie came out of the woods on #7
unscathed and also made par. It was on #8, that TM seemed to lose a bit
of concentration and three putted to score a double bogey. With Eric's
par on #9 and TM's bogey, Eric lead was now 5 and things looked bleak for
TM.

However, before Eric could put it into coast mode, his dragon decided
it was hot, tired and thirsty. His tee shot on #10 was short and right
and dove straight into Lake Reeves (so named for the extensive donations
made through out the year). After using his DRS, Eric took the penalty
shot and ended up with a bogey. TM meanwhile made par and had closed to
within 4. This was the magic handicap difference, so essentially they
were tied. However, as much as the lake effect would affect mortal men,
Eric simply shrugged and went to #11. TM feeling rejuvenated, fresh from
his success on 10, made a nice tee shot and second shot to get a par.
Birdie Taylor refocused and threw a magnificent tee shot and a good second
shot for his second birdie of the night. Making a par and still losing a
stroke simply was too much for the Tetrahedron Master. Eric's tee shot
went high and right to the middle of the walking path on 12. TM's tee
shot clipped a branch and dropped like a stone. TM would struggle to a
bogey while Birdie Taylor was now on cruise control and made par. After
pars on #13, Birdie Taylor's destiny was beginning to take hold. His tee
shot on 14 glanced off the tree located just to the left of the tee box
changing the trajectory to go more to the right. The shot still managed to
sail majestically past the first 2 hills & landed not far from the row of
trees that protect the third hill where the basket is located. However
Birdie second shot went wide and he finished with a bogey. Darrell
sensing an opportunity and fighting to stay in the match made a very good
putt from about 30 feet away to save par. TM was only down 1 now. Both
made pars on 15. Birdie's tee shot on 16 went high and off target heading
into the tops of the trees where most of the branches are located.
Miraculously, it hit nothing and skimmed through everything. His approach
shot on 16, the shot was going to be real long and curving far off to the
left when another miracle took place. The shot hit the tree about 10 feet
to the left of the basket and fell to the ground. Without the tree, the
shot was going to be 50-60 feet away. TM meanwhile made bogey to drop 2
shots behind. But it wasn't over yet. 2 shots, 2 holes to go.

Meanwhile, the SLEDoG members were battling each other for supremacy.
However in this league there is no handicap, no steering committee just
street wisdom, grit and fortitude to decide who wins each match. Puma
started the night off on the wrong foot and TWACKING Pike's pine on his
very first shot. Sadly, that was Puma's highlight of the night. Bushman,
Sunshine and Lordie battled each other the entire night. Pars, bogies,
bogies, pars. Back and forth the 3 players went, pushing each other,
scratching, clawing their way to the match's conclusion. After 9 holes,
the three were tied at 33. Passing the championship match players who
were busy retrieving Birdie's errant disc from the infamous Lake Reeves,
the rebels continued their relentless battle. Bushie took the lead on 11
with a par. It was tied again after #12 as Sunshine and Lordie both made
pars. Each hole produced a change only to be reversed on the next hole.
After 16, it was still knotted up at 59. Bushie threw down the gauntlet
with his magnificent tee shot on 17 through the trees and into the
fairway. Lord Skelton stepped up and answered by out driving Bushie by a
foot. Sunshine stepped up and threw a very nice shot that just clipped a
tree but leaving himself in a decent position. However, it was time for
the Sith Lord to use the powers that he alone possesses. Focusing the
power of the force towards him, neither Bushie nor Sunshine could do much
about it and they each made bogey while Lord Skelton made par. On 18,
Bushie made a fair tee shot making it past the trees but without the
distance he hoped for. Sunshine went TWACK into the tree and Lord Skelton
gracefully threw his disc past the trees and a long distance, all the way
to the left edge of the fairway. As Sunshine and Bushie tried valiantly
to overcome their tee shots, Lord Skelton simply moseyed down the fairway,
making the throws needed to claim the match with a 66. Bushie ended up
with a career best, record low 68. Sunshine finished with a 67. Puma
coughing and gasping, after being left in the dust, wheezed to a 75.

By this time, the championship match had started to pick up steam and
had caught up. On 17, Birdie threw a great tee shot through all of the
trees (not hitting anything again) and watch it gracefully turn left
stopping about 50 feet away in the middle of the fairway. TM struggling
to keep up with Birdie's masterful performance, threw a decent shot, which
clipped a tree but still ended up on the far edge of the fairway. Both
players played safe second shots to the basket. TM made his par putt and
Birdie had yet another drop in par. On 18, TM knew he had to gain a
couple of strokes but Eric "Champ" Taylor wasn't going to let that happen.
Champ threw a magnificent tee shot down the right side of the fairway and
long as he had done all night. His second shot headed right for the
basket before tailing off slightly to the left stopping at the base of the
trees that guard the 18th basket. TM also making some nice throws but it
just wasn't quite enough. Champ sensing victory, the championship and the
envy of the disc golf world, squelched the pressure and calmly sank his
6-foot par putt to seal the victory. In the end, Darrell "TM" Gilman had
shot a very respectable 64 but it was Eric "Champ" Taylor shooting his
career best, record low 57 (his first foray into the 50's) that was the
talk of the town this evening.

Eric "Birdie" Taylor will go down in history as the league's first
Champion and he deserves that honor. The tournament ended as it should
have, with the best player winning with his best game. I think that the
handicap system the league established has proven itself very well in
leveling the playing field without skewing the results. Congratulations
go to Eric and all disc golfers who came out and enjoyed the season. This
is your objective, concise, truthful, fun loving, honest, thoughtful,
caring, impartial, unbiased, independent, dispassionate reporter signing
off. Have a great off-season.

2006/10/20 - The Semi-finals

(DP) - Jacksonville - October 20, 2006

The Semi-finals

The players had arrived early. They made sure that they had time to
properly warm up. At the appointed time, Bushman Pike aboard his
mighty red Vulcan bike, rode onto the scene and became the game's
official photographer. There could be no doubt that the semi finals
were going to be a fight to the finish. Birdie Taylor warming up on
the soccer fields was throwing his disc long and straight covering most of
the field with a single throw. Darrell "Tetrahedron Master" Gilman
looked clam and relaxed as he warmed up. Tarzan Miller wanted to get a
better nickname and was bounded and determined that tonight's match
would provide the nickname committee with the inspiration to change.
Puma the Kid had a bounce to his step after Sunshine's recent nickname
submission.

Unlike the quarterfinal matches, the tension and pressure was high and
the anxiety affected the players from the start. One par, 2 bogies and
a double bogey on the first hole, pretty much summed up how this
evening was going to unfold. By the third hole, every player had
already carded at least one bogey or worse. Disaster struck on the
wood holes (6 and 7) as Tarzan, soon to be renamed Woody Miller, carded
an 8 and 6 all but eliminating his chances of advancing. Puma
struggling early and often would wait until the 9th hole before his
disaster happened when he recorded a 6. After nine holes, the scores
were Birdie Taylor comfortably in the lead with a 30, TM Gilman had a
35, Puma had a 38 and Woody had a 43. However with the handicaps, the
scores were much closer. Birdie with 25, TM had 26, Puma 27 and Woody
28. So it was still anyone's game on the back 9.

The struggling continued as Birdie went to the 10th tee. He launched a
very nice shot with went over the lake and curved towards the shore.
Unfortunately, the shot hit the edge of the embankment and rolled back
down the hill all the way into the water. Luckily the disc floated and
after the rescue, Birdie had a 85-foot shot up the embankment to get
close to the basket. However, Birdie didn't get to this lofty perch by
getting it close. Instead he measured, aimed and fired, a wide arching
shot into the basket for a par. Puma had a wonderful tee shot on
number 11 that went wide right past most of the trees. As it was just
about to start curving back to the basket to provide a very reasonable
birdie try, it glanced off of a tree and ended up across the walking
path on the other side. However, it was Puma's second throw that were
his nemesis this evening. Having a tough second shot to get it close,
Puma threw horribly and ended up with yet another bogey. On 12,
everyone had good tee shots. Puma going for the birdie he so
desperately needed went over the top of the basket, clanked the
comeback par and ended up with another bogey. TM knowing that he was
safely in second place at this time made a safe birdie attempt and
finished with a par. Birdie Taylor safely in first place enhanced his
position with a birdie from the bushes increasing his lead. Puma
gained a stroke back on the 13th hole with a par closing the gap to
within 2.

On 14, Puma had the opportunity to get within 1 when TM threw wide
right on his second throw. Puma's second shot was horrible and he
ended up with a bogey as did everyone else. Woody made a magnificent
tee shot of the 15th hole going 10 feet past the old hole location.
Unfortunately, that also meant he was 75 feet from the present hole
location with lots of trees standing in between him and his destiny.
*TWACK* into a tree went Woody (a sound heard frequently this evening)
leaving him with a par. Birdie went soaring on his tee shot, hit a
tree, leaving him with a long tough second shot and finished with a
bogey. TM playing from a position of strength made the throws he
needed to get a par and drop Puma down another stroke. However, Puma
and Woody were not going to go without a fight. Making magnificent tee
shots on 16 and 17, they fought back. Birdie started to really
struggle, hitting trees and flying way off the mark. TM playing it
safe also wasn't making a move. It was up to the 2 stragglers to make
the shots to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Inspired by the
trash talking and literary excellence that has been disseminated
recently, several fans and players contributed their works to tell the
story of last night's semi final match. Earlier that day, the
Tetrahedron Master produced this little ditty:
There once was a player named Pawson
Who thought his game was quite awesome
But his heart it was broke
When in play he did choke
For he play like flotsam and jetsam

Puma was out to make him eat his words. Borrowing without shame from
Ernest L. Thayer's famous poem, Jump'n Jenn Pawson produced this gem last
night, which provides the suspense of the match and pretty much sums up
the outcome:

The outlook was not bright, for the four that came to play
The score would only allow two of them to stay
In the first round there were woods that knocked off one
And many others followed, blinded by the sun

The crowd was ready to give up, afraid they seen the worst
Some of them remained, as though driven by some insatiable thirst
They thought. "If only Puma can't get over that awful briar patch,
We'd see the his fall from glory, if he were still in the match"

But Birdie preceded Puma, as did also Tarzan Miller
The former was a master, while the latter might be Puma's killer
So upon that gloomy outlook, the crowd did a dance;
for there seemed but little luck of Puma having a chance.

But Birdie hit a tree or two, to the amazement of all.
And TM, the much anticipated, into the woods did fall.
And when the dust had lifted, and the cat saw what had occurred,
there was Birdie with a tough shot, and TM without a word.

Then from five thousand (little squirrel) throats there rose a lusty
yell; it rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell; it
pounded through the mountain and recoiled upon the net's steel; for
Puma, mighty Puma, had stepped onto the playing field.

There was ease in Puma's manner as he stepped into his place,
there was pride in Puma's bearing and a smile lit Puma's face.
And when, ignoring the haunting jeers, towards his mark he did
proceed, no stranger in the crowd could doubt twas Puma in the lead.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt.
Five thousand mouths dropped when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then, while TM thought of how Puma might choke and slip,
defiance flashed in Puma's eye, a sneer curled Puma's lip.

And now the brilliant disc came hurtling through the air,
and Puma stood a-watching it without a single care.
As his first shot was a little off, and the rumors had already bred-
"I'll keep on going, that shot ain't my style," Puma said.

From the benches, black with squirrels, there went up a muffled roar,
like the beating of the storm waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Kill him! Kill the reporter!" shouted someone on the stand, and it's
likely they'd have killed him had Puma not raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity, great Puma's visage shone,
he prevented the rising riot, he bade the game go on.
He signaled to the others, and once more the great disc flew,
but Puma bravely faced his tormentors, and the others said, "Ha! You
fool!"

"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and the echo answered "Fraud!"
But one look at Puma that night and the audience was silently awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
and they knew that Puma wouldn't miss that shot not even once again.

The sneer has fled from Puma's lip, the teeth are clenched in hate.
He roared, with ferocity, ready to accept his fate
And now Puma holds the disc, and now he lets it go,
and now the air is shattered by the force of Puma's throw.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land, the sun is shining bright.
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And, somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout,
but there is no joy tonight in Jacksonville - mighty Puma had
clanked out!

In the end, the final scores were Birdie 62, TM 67, Puma 71 and Woody
75. With the handicaps, Birdie and TM finished with a 58, Puma and
Tarzan 60, so in the finals next week will be...

(drum roll)... (trumpets playing ta-da)

Mr. Consistency, Eric "Birdie" Taylor
.vs.
The master of disaster, Darrell "Tetrahedron Master" Gilman

2006/10/15 - Championship - Quarterfinals - Southern Division

DP - Jacksonville - October 15, 2006

Championship - Quarterfinals - Southern Division

Although it started out windy with brilliant sunshine of a typical
beautiful fall Florida day, the players and crowds were happy as the
breezes died down just prior to the start of the match. After the
exciting northern division quarterfinals a few days ago, the tension and
excitement were evident. Darrel "Tetrahedron Master" Gilman upset that
Puma had vaulted ahead of him in the Hall of Fame with Puma's 62 in the
previous quarterfinal match vowed to do something about that outrage. On
the first tee waited Becky "Comeback Klein and Rick "Bushman" Pike. Dave
"Tarzan" Miller was also ready having stayed up most of the night plotting
a sinister plan. Although Tarzan figured he might be able to advance
based on his score with his significant handicap, he wasn't taking any
chances. Plan B was now available and ready, if required. Little did he
know, that other competitors had the same idea. Bushman had started his
plan early by trying to poison the highest handicap person in the group.
Early on Saturday, Bushman prepared a "special" breakfast for "Comeback"
Klein. Bushie claims that she had an allergic reaction to something in
the sausage. Her eyes almost swelled shut and she couldn't open up her
eyes wide enough to focus. BY Sunday it was better but the lingering
effects still remained. Doubts remain however since Bushie is a known
master of the outdoors and could have easily picked up something while on
his walk abouts. Comeback was also suffering more distress when she
discovered she had broken a nail, just minutes prior to the match.
However she would battle onward.
Unlike the northern division with its stellar players and
performances, the players in this division clearly had a case of the
jitters. On the first hole, Woody Gilman, oops I mean Tetrahedron
Master, TM, Gilman got off to a whopping start by heaving his disc,
*TWACK* into Puma's pine. Bushie showing his nervousness glanced his disc
off of Puma's pine, causing it to deflect over near the practice hole
where he proceeded to throw his second shot through the trees by the
practice hole. After 3 putting, Bushie had a 6, Comeback a 5 and Tarzan
and TM had fours to start the event. Bushie made a strong recovery
carding a par on the second hole. TM settled down and started making pars
as well. The nerves were still evident though on hole 4, where Bushie
started his streak of 4 consecutive double bogies. Comeback Klein waited
until the 5th hole to start her streak of 3 consecutive double bogies.
While Tarzan was making a 6 on 6, TM quietly made another par setting the
stage for future greatness.
It was about this time that Tarzan decided to put plan B into effect.
Whether he meant to actually hurt anyone or just use it for the
psychological effects is still unknown. The game became rife with
assassination attempts; particularly from Tarzan Miler. On 10, both Rick
and Dave buried their drives half in the mud, no further than 4 inches
from the water. No one had to take any strokes from the pond in this
game. However Battling Becky finally shut down the harrowing
assassinations when on the 11th hole, Tarzan wandered ahead of the field
possibly looking for potential ambuscades, and she nearly pinned him to a
tree with a strong drive. However, the physical nature of this match
seemed to only affect Bushie, who prefers much subtler approaches such as
poisoning. After this close call, Tarzan settled down, making no worse
than a bogey on any of the remaining holes. Comeback and Bushie also
seemed to have trouble with Puma's gallery trying their best to distract
them, by making strange sounds and jumping from around it the bushes.
They were a scruffy, snarly bunch, especially the mongrel cat without Puma
there to control the mangy bunch. The players got a surprise on #15,
when they discovered that the basket had been moved back to it's original
position. Inspired, Battling Becky shot the second par of her career on
this hole while TM missed an easy gimme birdie attempt. On 16, Comeback
Klein decided to go for it. She was easily about 175 ft out, when she
threw her disc and it came sailing in and really rattled the chains but it
didn't stick in the basket. As the final hole dawned, the players made
one last desperate grasp for glory. TM wrapping up a solid game had his
chance to break Puma's 62. TM carefully judged the angles and the wind
and launched his second throw low, very low, but the grass tipped its nose
up just right and it caught about 100 feet of ground effects, skimming
right up to 8 feet from the pin, allowing him to finish with a par and a
career low score of 61. Comeback had a chance on 18 to end her score at
79 but it wasn't meant to be and she finished with an 80. Tarzan finished
18 when a bogey to shoot a career low 69. Bushman Pike never able to
recover from his bad run on the front 9 finished with a 77. The
semifinals are now set with TM (51) and Tarzan (51) advancing to meet
(Puma (49) and Birdie (54). This match looks to be a good one as all 4
players are coming off of record setting (or tying) career lows.

2006/10/12 - Championship - Quarterfinals - Northern Division

(DP) Jacksonville - October 12, 2006

Championship - Quarterfinals - Northern Division

On a warm, clear late afternoon, the crowd gathered. The excitement
and tension is the air was palpable. Unlike the usual weekly games, where
players tried to improve with some friendly competition, the game tonight
was different. The tone was set from the moment Eric "Birdie" Taylor
threw his first tee shot, intent on making an ace or at least a birdie.
Throwing it long and straight, Birdie launched it through the well known,
but not quite well beloved pine trees, guarding the tee box, trees with
nicks and gouges and still bearing names such as Pike's Pine and Puma's
Pine. Eric didn't quite have the curve he wanted on it and the disc
sailed further and further from it's intended course until it nestled down
into the unnamed pine trees on the far side of the fairway. However, it
was a shot that the other players took notice of. This time there would
be no fooling around. The playoffs were on. Dave "Lord" Skelton came up
and threw his disc around the trees with maybe perhaps a bit too much
curve landing on the left side of the fairway. KC "Sunshine" Reeves
stepped up. He too, was there trying to make a statement, and wasn't
going to let Birdie dominate. His tee shot, long with the desired curve
ended up in the middle of the fairway on top of the slope leading to the
first hole. Puma, who had practiced restlessly the past few weeks, trying
to master his new discs that he had purchased to give him any advantage he
could get, had planned on playing a bit conservatively, in order not to
make the mistakes that typically costs players several strokes. No heroic
shots, just keep it in the fairway. Well that plan went out the window
before he got his first throw in. It was obvious that today started the
playoffs and you either went for it or you went home. Puma using his new
sidewinder, threw a bit low and it fell short of all other tee shots but
it was at least in the fairway and away from the trees, which bore many
marks from many of his previous tee shots.
As the players had learned throughout the regular season, the second
shot is perhaps more important than the first. The concentration level
was high, as the players approached their discs. Puma went with a hammer
throw and ended up within 10 feet of the basket. Lord Skelton, not to be
outdone, made a very nice shot underneath the overhanging branches,
narrowly missing the basket, to leave it within 5 feet. Sunshine trying
for the birdie went over the top dropping it within 4 feet. Birdie also
narrowly missed the first of his birdie opportunities.
As each player made their par putt, the comment was made on how
different the level of play was. 4 players, 4 pars. On the second
hole, Birdie Taylor made the best drive of the group, long and straight,
setting up a 40-foot birdie opportunity. Eric just missed the birdie try,
settling for a drop in par, as did Sunshine and Puma. Lord Skelton
nicking a tree, ended up with the first bogey of the evening. The
intensity continued onto the next hole, where KC clanked his 3rd shot to
drop a stroke as Puma and Birdie continued the par streak. On the fourth
hole, Puma's Posse showed up and watched as Birdie Taylor again made a
magnificent tee shot and missed yet another medium length birdie try.
Puma clanked his 3rd shot off the basket to record his first bogey of the
night.
The shot control got a bit off on number 5 and everyone wandered
aimlessly around the woods retrieving discs, although Lord Skelton made a
wonderful second shot from the right side of the woods to give him the
only par. Hole #6 loomed as a make or break chance. KC went for it,
throwing a long, very low, straight shot down the narrow fairway, heading
right for the big tree that juts out. However, his disc skipped sideways
off of the ground right before the tree, curving around the tree and
ending up significantly past it but in the woods on the left. The hole was
costly for Puma as he recorded a 5 with everyone else getting bogies.
Birdie made a great first shot on #7 but failed to capitalize. KC made a
wonderful recovery shot and a long par putt to save. Everyone made par on
#8. Puma buckled a bit under the growing pressure on #9 recording another
5. Birdie Taylor went a bit too far right clearing the entire lake on his
tee shot but still made par. KC curved his tee shot over the lake and
onto the fairway also made par. After 9 holes, it was close, very close,
as Birdie led all players with a score of 30, followed by KC with 31, Lord
Skelton with 32 and Puma with a 34.
All players made pars on #10. Puma made a very nice tee shot on #11
straight through the 2 sentential trees, only to hit an overhanging branch
and dropping the disc straight down. Lord Skelton showed everyone how to
was suppose to be done with a long nicely thrown drive. All players made
very nice second shots. Puma made his 20-foot par attempt as the others
had par attempts of 5 feet or less. On #12, the players knew this was a
birdie opportunity and went for it. KC got his disc a bit too high and
went wide left. Eric made a nice but not one of his best throws on this
hole to leave him a 40-foot birdie chance. Puma went a bit too far right,
clipping yet another branch, falling 70 feet short. Lord Skelton feeling
the groove out drove everyone, settling his disc about 20 feet away but
behind the tree and bushes guarding the hole. Unable to see the basket
visually, Lord Skelton calmly went to his disc, used the force, and threw
a Comeback Klein special backhand flip putt into the basket for his second
birdie of his career. On #14, Puma and Lord Skelton had less than
desired drives; KC and Eric started battling it out. Realizing that Lord
Skelton and Puma were much too close to their scores and that they were
running out of holes to play, they had to make their moves. Both made
incredible drives, Birdie narrowly missing the trees on the right. KC
then promptly went up to his disc and threw a 10 foot second shot, *TWACK*
into a tree. Yes, the youth and inexperience of this young turk was
beginning show. As is common, it is experience and guile that comes alive
in the playoffs. All players knew that #15 is a birdie hole and all went
for it. Eric hit the trees on the right hand side quickly ending his
birdie hopes. The others all narrowly missed their birdie tries. Eric
made a very nice 35 foot par putt to avoid losing any ground. The night
was fast approaching. There were other groups on the course slowing down
the playoff party but the beat went on. Puma made the best drive on #16
of his illustrious career as the others all went tree hunting. KC made a
great recovery shot, a bit left of the hole, but it was Puma that provided
the excitement as his launched his second shot from 123 feet away and
watching his famed dragon nestle softly into the basket for his first
birdie of the evening and the third of his career. On #17, all of the
players went for birdies. Lord Skelton trying a backhand toss errantly
threw his wide right. Puma hoping his dragon liked this basket as much as
the last one, narrowly missed his second long birdie attempt. Birdie
Taylor went a bit too high to miss his attempt. KC who again went a bit
high on his drive, luckily avoided a nesting disc, had a clear shot from
the fairway. Sunshine went for the hole masked only by the growing
darkness and missed it long. His par attempt clanked off the basket as he
ended up with a bogey. On #18, KC knew he had to make a birdie to have
any kind of a chance, threw his tee shot *TWACK* into the tree, 20 feet
away, effectively ending his disc golf championship hopes. In the end,
there can only be one. Puma buoyed by his birdie and realizing he was on
a record pace stepped up and made a nice drive down the middle of the
fairway. Approaching the tee, Lord Skelton knew he had to make par to
record a new record career low score. Lord Skelton made a great drive out
driving Puma by 30 feet and KC by 150 feet. Eric not to be outdone, out
drove everyone with a majestic tee shot about 15 feet into front of
Dave's. Dave threw his disc wide left, way left, thereby ending his
chances while Birdie and Puma made the throws needed to secure their
victory. When the dust settled, Eric had a 60 (impressive considering he
had no birdies), KC had a 61, Puma had a new career record low of 62, and
Dave with a 5 on 18 missed his career low of 66 by 1. Birdie and Puma
now wait for the winner's of Sunday's Southern division playoff game.

2006/10/03 - The end to a dynasty?

(DP) - Jacksonville October 3, 2006

The end to a dynasty?

There was tension in the air. After the vicious attack of last week,
the contestants were nervous. Puma was especially concerned given that
last week's attack were being falsely pinned on him. Although the
investigation continues, the original details of a directed attack against
Bushie's posse may have been a leap to false conclusions. Some witnesses
claim that Clank was merely walking towards the first tee when he stumbled
and hit his head on the tree or possibly on a branch sticking out from the
tree. Since no disc was found at the scene, the conclusion of a directed
attack is hard to fathom.
Whatever the reason for last week's injury, the players this day were
on edge. Many wore body armor, just in case. Puma wearing heavy chain
mail on this damp and drizzling day may have actually caused himself more
problems. Starting with hitting Pike's Pine on the first hole, Puma had
serious control problems, which, naturally, made all of the other
contestants a bit more panicky. Many players made sure to stand well
behind Puma when he was throwing, some even seeking cover on his putts.
Darth Miller, with his high metaclorine count, was present, and affecting
the other players in his vicinity. Lord Skelton's young apprentice seems
to be growing in confidence with each game and came out firing on all
cylinders shooting pars on the first 2 holes. Sensing a threat from
Tetrahedron Master Gilman, Darth focused his manipulations on hampering
TM's discs. KC "Sunshine" Reeves also came out firing with 3 pars on the
first 4 holes and shooting a 30 on the front 9. Puma's armor meanwhile
was beginning to rust in the steady drizzle causing even more control
problems leading him to shoot a 41 on the front 9. It was on hole 11 that
Darth turned his attention away from TM and focused it on Sunshine.
Suddenly Sunshine's discs were going all over the place leaving a trail of
bogies and double bogies in its wake. With Darth's attentions on
Sunshine, TM made his charge on the back 9. Darth did focused on himself
on hole #15, shooting the first birdie of his career. His master, who had
foreseen this, was proud. A low voice seemingly from the skies was heard
to say, "You have done well, my young padawon". TM, freed from Darth's
clutches, shot a 29 on the back 9 and ended up with a career low 64.
Darth also shot a career low 72. KC frustrated by Darth's manipulations
decided to end the misery and threw his discs into the lake after 18.
Sunshine is now in the market for new metaclorine proof discs.
In the other group, away from Darth's influence, Birdie Taylor led the
way with Jason "Rusty" McCallister trying to regain his form. However, it
was Nick "Popeye" Pappas who proved to be the slickest of them all. With
the return of spinach to store shelves, Popeye returned to the course at
full strength. Popeye Pappas had been plotting, planning to place
himself at peak performance prior at the start of the championship round.
Popeye Pappas knew that the Dave dynasty needed to be brought to an end
and with renewed strength and vigor, stepped forward to do something about
it. Starting off with only pars and bogies on the first 8 holes, Popeye
proceeded around the course, eventually shooting a career low 70. Birdie
still trying to break that elusive 50's barrier, was on pace to do so
(including a birdie on #2) until the 9th hole when his dragon suddenly
decided it was dirty and thirsty and dove into the lake for a refreshing
bath. Birdie used his DRS to corral his wayward dragon. Once clean,
Birdie's dragon performed much better and helped Birdie to break his
streak of scoring 63. However, that plunge into the lake, ended up costing
him the chance to break the barrier as he finished up shooting a 61.
Rusty having more issues with oxidation and having trouble handling
slippery discs in the drizzle, shot a 79.

2006/09/28 - No Witnesses

(DP) - Jacksonville September 28, 2006
No Witnesses

It was another beautiful sunny Florida day. It was a perfect day.
Bushman Pike was at the course early, fretting about how to maintain his
tenuous hold on TWAC. Comeback Klein has plotting how to help. Puma
strode confidently to the course, ready to reclaim his rightful
entitlement to the can. The Clanking Keating were making a rare
appearance in support of Bushie. The assassin blended in with the
assembled crowds, setting up his "shop" near the 2nd fairway with a clear
line of sight to the 1st hole tee box. "It just wasn't fair," thought the
assassin. "Bushman had brought his entire posse with him in a blatant
attempt to influence the outcome of the match". He felt had to do
something. A fair match was all he wanted, all that he came here to
watch. "Bushman with his posse against Puma with his gallery of squirrels
and a mongrel cat just wasn't fair". The assassin spotted his chance.
"Wow, 2 for the price of one. This is too easy". His weapon of choice
was a 165-gram sidewinder. Clank Keating was walking with poise towards
the first tee box. The assassin threw the disc and watch it elegantly
pierce through the air, curving silently towards the target. Clank was
behind a grove of trees. The disc dove, like a guided stealth missile,
through the trees and vines missing all of them. At the last minute, Carla
saw the danger. "Look out" she yelled, giving Clank just barely enough
time to look up to see it smack him. The sidewinder struck Clank on the
left side of his head. It was a vicious blow. Carla immediately went to
the rescue of her husband to apply first aid. Through the ensuing chaos,
the assassin's assistant calmly walked by and picked up the disc removing
all forensic evidence. The assassin looked around for his next target.
Comeback Klein realizing the danger she was in decided to take evasive
action. Claiming she was ill, she high tailed it away from the course and
went home to safely watch the match on TV. "Now", thought the assassin,
"the match will be fair."
After the chaos had subsided, the match was ready to begin.
Mentioning something about honorable ways to win, KC "Sunshine" Reeves was
ready to redeem himself. Tetrahedron Master "TM" Gilman was anxious to
get his new moniker off to a good start and to finally break the string of
66's he has been shooting recently. Birdie Taylor was also there to
finally break into the 50's and break his string of 63's. Lord Skelton,
busy laying out plans to rule the galaxy, had sent his apprentice Tarzan
Miller to control the mob and to make sure the dynasty continued. And
then there was the new comer. An unknown. A new victim, an interloper or
a ringer? No one knew. Al Bongers had decided to make an appearance. Al
showed tremendous form and potential so it was decided to put Lord Skelton
apprentice into the first group and keep Al in the second group away from
any influence from the dark side. Someday, he will have to face the dark
side, but not today.
The perfect day started off well (other than the minor assassination
attempts). Sunshine made his first par of the day on #1 as did Birdie and
TM. Al showing great promise made a bogey as did Puma and Tarzan, while
Bushie nervously threw a double bogey. On the second hole, it was more
of the same thing. Puma, Birdie and TM were pushing each other to do
better. Tarzan practicing the control that his Sith master had taught him
was playing better than ever before. Al learning his way around the
course and Bushie struggling to maintain the frantic pace, dropping a shot
off the pace at every hole or 2. Puma had promised that by the 6th hole
it would be over and for all practical purposes it was, but Bushie wasn't
ready to admit it. Like a fighter, Bushie pressed on regardless of the
pounding he was taking. Comeback Klein was shouting at the TV, telling
him to stay down but he kept getting up. The Clanking Keatings were
shouting at their TV "Stay down Rick", but he kept getting up. By the 9th
hole, and down by 2, Bushie kept thinking crazy thoughts of a comeback.
After 13 holes and down by 3, Bushie kept thinking, now is my chance.
Even TWAC felt sorry for him. TWAC thought, "maybe I can convince my pal
Puma to let me come visit again in a few months". TWAC knew that Puma
being gracious, thoughtful as well as warm and caring would go for that
idea. After all, Puma had let Bushie win last week so that TWAC could
visit. However, even TWAC understood, in the end there can only be one
TWAC owner and that owner is Puma!
The match progressed towards the finish. Birdie tried new techniques
including skipping a disc off the pond on #10, landing it on the other
side. Al was showing remarkable technique with a bit of the usual rookie
control issues. Al also tried out new flight paths including an attempt
to go over the trees on #17. No one had thought of that before. KC was
having a good day although not record setting. Birdie tried being more
aggressive in order to break into the elusive zone of the 50's. TM trying
anything to break the 66 barrier that has eluded him. Tarzan was doing
quite well, using the force to keep his disc firmly under control.
When it was over and the dust settled, the scores from this event
were, Sunshine 60, Birdie had his 3rd consecutive 63. TM was on route 66
for the 4th time, Puma had a 71, Tarzan tied his career low 73, Bushie had
his 2nd consecutive 74 and Al had a remarkable first day score of 78.
Only 2 players in league history have shot a better score their first day
out.

2006/09/26 - Watch the Birdie

(DP) - Jacksonville - September 26, 2006

Watch the Birdie

It was another beautiful day for disc golf. With temperatures in the
80's, low humidity, a cloudless sky and an assembled motley crew of
"talented" golfers, the excitement of the game was palpable. The Force
was well represented with Lord Skelton and his young padawan "Tarzan"
Miller. Skippy Brooks was ready for his usual assortment of trick shots.
Rusty McCallister coming back after a long absent was a surprise entry.
The usual suspects Birdie Taylor and Puma Pawson also showed up. No Show
Nick claimed to have an "owie" and stayed home oiling his guns. Music Man
Gilman claimed an illness as well. Bushman Pike and his sidekick Comeback
Klein were notably absent having quickly declined the invitation, possibly
due to the very reasonable fear of losing TWAC so soon after Puma
temporarily loaned it to Bushie.
The rapid start to beat the rushing darkness was only slowed by
Skippy Brooks' insistence on fashion. Several players deprived of their
usual warm up time got off to slow starts. Tarzan Miller and Puma didn't
card their first par until the 9th hole. Rusty McCallister also got off
to a slow start showing that a long layoff between matches in no friend to
good scores. Lord Skelton had no such issues. As expected, Sith Master
Skelton showed off the command of his ever-growing supremacy, carding 2
pars on the first 3 holes. The excitement grew as players started making
some spectacular throws setting up birdie chances. Several players missed
birdies at hole #4. On #6, Skippy Brooks showed off an interesting
technique to avoid the trees by throwing the disc so low as to skip it
along the fairway much like skipping a stone across a pond. Lord Skelton
made a more conventional throw, a remarkably straight arrow down the
center of the fairway along this narrow wooded hole. Puma, not to be
outdone, also threw his disc straight down the center. Other players
tried to emulate these feats of prowess but the trees claimed their usual
number of victims. Lord Skelton threw a nice second shot, leaving a short
2-foot putt for par. Puma, not to be out done, threw his disc about 80
feet straight into the basket for the second birdie of his young, stellar
career. Thus, Puma joined a very elite small group of players to have
more than 1 birdie to their credit.
Although most players were happy to leave the woods behind them after
finishing hole #7, Skippy's fondness for lumber was evident on #8 as he
threw his disc on a winding journey back into the woods following the well
worn path without hitting a single tree along the way. Rusty McCallister,
breaking the bonds of his iron oxidation, started showing his form and
made a nice 35-foot putt. However Rusty's journey to complete recovery
was slowed on hole #9 when his tee shot went a bit too high and his disc
came crashing into the lake. Luckily it came down close enough to the
shore to allow recovery and continued play. Tarzan Miller finally warmed
up and made his first par. Puma just missed his second birdie opportunity
and also settled for his first par of the evening. Skippy, once again,
was directionally challenged and threw his disc across the entire length
of the lake. If only Skippy could harness that power and provide a little
direction at the same time.
After 9 holes, the match was close with Birdie having carded a 32, Lord
Skelton and Skippy with 34, Rusty and Puma had 36 and Tarzan with a 42.
It was now that Birdie decided to mount his onslaught on the record book.
A tremendous throw almost netted an Ace but he had to settle for an easy
birdie. Puma trying desperately to answer the challenge just missed a
birdie with a long second throw on #11. On #12, Birdie answered his own
challenge by throwing an elegant tee shot to within 4 feet of the basket
for his second birdie of the night. The rest of the night was exciting,
as several players came close to making other birdies, just missing high
or wide. Lord Skelton, Puma, and Birdie all missing on #15, Skippy
missing a birdie on #16, Puma missing on #17. In the end, Birdie Taylor
stood alone at the top of the fowl heap. On #18, Tarzan Miller lived up
to his nickname, climbing the tree to rescue Puma's nesting dragon and
jumping from branch to branch before finally swinging down to reach earth
again. If only there was a vine that he could have used to swing from
tree to tree, the players might have been treated to hearing his famous
call as well. The final scores were: Birdie 63, Lord Skelton posting a
new career low 66, Skippy 69, Rusty 73, Puma 76 and Tarzan with a 37 on
the back 9 posted a 79.
Next match is scheduled for Thursday. Hopefully certain players (who
shall not be named) will find the "courage" to show up and return TWAC to
its' rightful owner.

2006/09/21 - The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

DP) - Jacksonville - September 21, 2006

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

This intrepid, objective reporter has returned to disc golf after a bit
of a layoff, taking time off last week to retain TWAC by soundly trouncing
Rick at real golf at Ponte Verda Golf Course. The weather this day was
gorgeous, with temperatures in the 80's and no humidity. Eight players
showed up to enjoy the splendid conditions. The DGIMP champions of the
past few weeks, "Sith Lord" Skelton and his prodigy Dave "Woody" Miller,
were there to use the force fending off all challengers. Past DGIMP
champions Comeback Klein, Bushman, Puma and Sunshine were there en masse
to take on this dynasty duo as were DGIMP groupies Music Man Gilman and
Birdie Taylor. No Show "It's too hot in Florida" Nick, Krafty Knagge, the
Clanking Keatings and Teflon Man McCallister were among the missing
dignitaries.
The players were broken into 2 groups to speed up play due to the
rapidly approaching darkness. The first group got off to a slow start
with the first pars not showing up until the 4th hole. Puma had promised
to let Bushie win this week in order to reunite with TWAC for a couple of
days. It's been several months that Bushie has had TWAC and Puma knew how
crushed Bushie was, after last week's beating. Puma knew that he would
have to make some seriously poor shots to make this even a possibility.
However, Puma as smart of a player that exists today came up with a plan.
Puma decided to go out and aggressively try to make his second birdie of
the season regardless of whether that was the best shot choice to make.
It would cost him a few strokes but he needed that to allow Bushman to
win. On hole #3, Puma had a remarkable tee shot, throwing his disc down
the narrow path in the woods following the trail. However, as the disc
started fading to the right following the trail, it clipped a tree,
careened off sideways and Puma ended up with a bogey (acceptable since
Bushie also had a bogey). Music Man had a good front nine carding a 34.
Behind him were Bushie with a 38, Puma with a 39 and Comeback with a 40.
On the back nine, the trend continued. Puma hits a tree and made some
tremendous second shot, several times just missing birdies as the disc
went whizzing past the basket, Bushie went on a couple of walk abouts,
Comeback (without the sidewinder that she so covets) went down the middle
of the fairway and Music Man making good shots followed by poor putts.
However, there were some bright spots. On holes 12 thru 15, Music Man had
3 pars, only missing par on #14 by missing the par putt and watching it
roll downhill further away from the basket than where he started from.
Comeback making a serious charge to appropriate the DGIMP trophy from the
clutches of the evil empire, had a wonderful game. On #13, Comeback
Klein, after an average tee shot, made a magnificent, splendid approach
and finished it off with a marvelous putt (especially given the pressure)
to net her first par. Comeback Klein finished with a 79 becoming the
first woman in league history to break into the 70's.
The action in the second group was equally exciting. Sunshine Reeves
seemed to be intimately connected with his disc. After hitting the tree
on #5, Sunshine seemed to be a bit woozy and continued that trend by
actively looking for grubs in the woods on #6. Whether it was the old
Jedi mind trick or something else, Sunshine never recovered and would
finish with a career high 69. Birdie Taylor also struggled with the
influence of the force and shot an fairly average 63. Sith Lord Skelton
purchased a new disc, one that would hopefully keep the DGIMP trophy
within the dynasty. Demonstrating his power, Sithy (as his friends call
him) threw his wolf into the lake not once but twice. Normally since the
wolf disc does not float this would be a disaster, but Sithy wanted his
young apprentice to understand the power of the dark side. Woody tried
to pull it out. "NO", said Sithy, "Do or do not, there is no try!" and
with that, he retrieve his disc both times. Sithy also made his first
birdie of his career with a magnificent tee shot and putt on hole #15. On
the last hole, Sith Lord Skelton used his powerful influence with the
force to make a 135 foot par putt(?) to finish with a 67. Sithy's
trainee, Woody Miller making a strong push to make the playoffs finished
with a 78 to surge higher in the rankings, and is now tied in 9th
position. The top 8 ranked players will make the playoffs.
With record lows and usually higher scores from some, and Bushie
being given TWAC, it was indeed, the good, the bad and the ugly. In the
end however, there can only be one player standing at the top. This week,
that player, the soon to be announced DGIMP champion is... wait, there is
a tie... Both Comeback Klein and Woody Miller have a handicapped score of
52. Stay tuned for the exciting official announcement on Monday
providing the details on who won the tie breaker and who is the DGIMP
owner.

2006/08/29 - The Phoenix Rises

(DP) - Jacksonville - 08/29/2006

The Phoenix Rises

In a stunning surprise, Dynasty Dave did not show up to defend his
DGIMP trophy. Maybe he just figured there was no competition. Maybe he
thought that he was a marked man and couldn't bear the pressure. Whatever
the reason, KC "Fawkes" Reeves promised before the start, to rise like a
phoenix from the ashes of last week's meltdown. It was a windy day, with
zephyrs so balmy and bright, which would end up affecting many throws.
Ten brave souls had come out to do battle this evening including
amazingly, Buffalo Bill Pappas dripping oil from his multiple attempts of
getting his discs ready and Hitman McCallister, risking his average points
per game ranking. No shows included: Krafty, the Wiz, Todd the Toad,
Capt'n Chip and the Clanking Keatings.
Slytherin Bushman Pike led the first group of 5. The first hole was
relatively uneventful as most got a 4 except for KC Fawkes who started off
his quest with a 3. KC was feeling good standing at the 2nd tee, thinking
it'd be an easy victory until he looked around and saw Birdie Taylor
scoring his first birdie of the night with a 65 foot putt on the first
hole. Instead of being intimidated, KC steadied himself for battle with
the courage and determination of a true Gryffidor and rattled off 5
straight pars before faltering only slightly in the woods on 6 and 7. All
around him, the rest of the party was struggling to control the wind and
their discs. After 9 holes, Bushman and Pinkie the Beast Brooks had 38,
Woody Gilman had 37, Comeback Klein had a 45, while KC had an amazing 29.
The second group had equal difficulties mastering the course. Things did
look good at the start for Birdie Taylor with birdie, par, and par on the
holes, which historically have given him trouble. Hitman McCallister was
also picking off his targets with ease over the first 3 holes. Puma,
Nearly Headless Nick and Woody Miller were struggling to stay with the
leaders. On #9, Puma's Dragon decided to go for a swim on his second
shot. Woody Miller seeing how much fun that seemed to be heaved his Wolf
on his second shot into the lake also. Unfortunately, Wolves do not float
and it sank rapidly to the bottom. Nearly Headless Nick decided that he
didn't want to be left out of the fun and threw his favorite disc into the
lake on #10. Amazingly, although not a floatable disc, the Leopard did
float, clawing, scratching, struggling to stay on the surface.
Tantalizingly close to shore, Nick went over and started beating the
Leopard with a stick. When the wind quickly blew it out of reach, Nick
then started trying to bomb it with rocks, pinecones, water filled bottles
and anything else that was available. Still failing to sink it, Nick
finally decided that maybe it should survive and tried a rescue attempt
using Birdie's DRS. The DRS was launched into perfect position. However,
as soon as the string on the DRS touched the disc, the additional weight
was too much for the struggling disc and it gave up and sank to the
bottom. Nick was distraught with the loss of his Leopard but courageously
went on.
Although the wind was still playing havoc with the discs, the players
were getting the hang of the nuances. Most players did 3-4 shots better
on the back 9 except for Woody Gilman who did a whooping 6 shots better
and KC who pared every hole on the back 9 before faltering on 18 and
shooting a bogey. When it was finally over, a boom of thunder was heard
and the clouds in the sky form this strange lettering: Abandon all hope,
all ye who enter... Dynasty Dave is a dynasty no more, His place in
history will go down in lore, Having given up his trophy without a fight
Lacking so much as a throw into the night KC may win it, which by itself,
is quite a feat History will record Dynasty couldn't take the heat Caving
under the pressure that DGIMP produced To a mere mortal man he has been
reduced With no birdies and only 3 bogeys all night, KC had staked a claim
for DGIMP with a career low, an outstanding, awesome score of 57, becoming
the first person in league play to break 60! Nearly Headless Nick set a
career low 74 as did Woody Miller with an 84. Puma Pawson tied his career
low with 68. Even with fighting the tough breezes, Woody Gilman had a
near career low 68 (+2 from his low) as did Birdie Taylor (62, +2), Hitman
McCallister (72, +2), Bushie Pike (73, +2), Derrick "the Beast" Brooks
(72, +3) and Comeback Klein with an 87, +4. Next up on Thursday is the
best ball tournament providing that surprise visitor Ernesto doesn't wash
out the event or course.

2006/08/25 - DGIMP Dynasty??? Not so fast!

(DP) Jacksonville

DGIMP Dynasty??? Not so fast!

It was a wet evening. Storms were rolling through the area,
threatening to wash out the event. Certain players had already bailed.
Several were back at home oiling their discs. Others thought that it was
too hot, too cold, too wet or too dry. FWACO Pike and Grandma Klein were
feigning illnesses. However, for the intrepid players that were at the
course, the game was still on, their enthusiasm was not dampen by mere
thunder, lightning or rain. At 6:15 p.m. almost on schedule, the skies
brighten and the rain stopped. The game was on. What new nicknames would
be made this night? What new scores would they shoot? The excitement was
palpable.
First up was Sunshine Reeves, gunning for a score in the 50's. With no
regard to the row on pine trees now commonly referred to as assassin row,
guns full ablaze, KC wound up and heaved it...approximately 20 feet
into... not the first tree (Pike's pine) nor the second tree (Pawson's
pine), but into the hereby unnoticed, and almost impossible to hit and
newly named Sunshine's pine. Letting out a noticeable sigh, it was not
the good start, he had hoped for. Unfortunately, for Sunshine and several
other players, it was a harbinger of things to come. While all of the
other players manage to safely make it past assassin row, discs were
scattering like leaves on a windy day.
It was on the second hole that Dave Miller made his move for a new
nickname. Heaving his disc mightily towards the fairway, up, up and away,
and *THWACK* into a tree. That sound would be repeated frequently this
evening. *THWACK* went Woody Gilman's disc, *THWACK* went Puma's disc.
Like a hulking herd of lumberjacks attacking a forest, the valiant players
went on. Nothing would stand in their way.
Pigeon Taylor went for his new moniker starting on hole #3. While
most players bounce their disc off of trees and bushes through the course
of the night, Pigeon had specifically trained his to return to the coop
once it hit something other than the basket. *THWACK* into a tree and
deflected backwards. *THWACK* into a bush and roll down the hill and back
towards the concerned owner. Like the homing pigeons of yesteryear,
Birdie Taylor had trained his disc well. It was on #5 that his soubriquet
took on a life of it's own.
Hole #6 was the downfall for most. Dave "Woody" Miller cemented his
spot in the history books with a 9 on this hole, thwacking from tree to
tree all the way down to the hole. Thwack, Thwack, Thwack, Thwack, Wiz,
Wiz, Wiz, the sound was hauntingly familiar. Pigeon and Sunshine were all
vying for the Woody title. KC suffered his worst hole of his short career
shooting a 6. However Darrell, who refused to become "the player
previously known as Woody", wasn't going to let go of that nickname so
easily. Sensing that he was losing his stranglehold of Woody, Darrell
stepped up and made a strong bid to retain the title himself. *TWACK*,
*TWACK*, *Wiz*, *Wiz*, oh what a relief it is. Through all of the chaos
however, some rays of hopes still beamed. Randy Knagge was quietly
amassing a fortune in shots, averaging 5 on every hole. Puma was making a
serious effort to unseat Dynasty Dave from his DGIMP throne. Coming out
of the forest, Puma had made it past his typically hardest holes in
fashion, shooting a career low 26 through 7 holes. Woody Gilman,
conflicted between retaining the name he so richly coveted and winning
DGIMP, treaded a fine line attempting to do both and emerged from the
forest fairly unscathed.
Darrell tried throwing his disc into the lake on #9 but manage to
only get it into the small holding pond and rescuing it. Not content with
that effort, Darrell heaved his disc into the pond again on 10, only to
watch it get rescued again, this time by Pigeon Taylor's New and Improved
Disc Rescue Sub v2. However it may have been this excitement that caused
the players to come alive. KC after shooting a 37 on the front 9 went
after Derrick Bad Boy Brooks's record on the back 9. Thwacks were replaced
with pars. Pigeon stepped up on #12 and made a magnificent throw going
from the tee box all the way like a laser guided missile to the hole,
narrowly missing an ace, ending up about 2 feet PAST the hole. Pigeon
made the easy birdie. Puma with his career low 33 on the front 9 knew
that DGIMP was within his reach. Smiling, since he always does better on
the back 9, it was now just a matter of time. Darrell was also making a
strong bid for the DGIMP title having gotten caught up with the
excitement. Woody Miller and Killer Knagge were the only ones not
affected by the growing surge of power, confidence and awesome throws. On
#13, Pigeon made another nice tee shot only to fall behind some trees and
settled on a simple par. On #15, Puma and Sunshine had fair chances for a
birdie while Darrell and Pigeon both had very good chances. However, no
one capitalized. On #16, Pigeon flew his disc past the trees into the
fairway before settling down most of the way towards the hole, where most
mortal people reach with their second or third shots. Pigeon, making a
strong bid to reclaim his previous moniker, stepped up and calmly made an
89-foot birdie putt. Birdie Taylor was back with his second birdie of the
night and becoming the first person in league history to accomplish that
feat. KC after 6 pars in a row and Puma having a 54 at this point, seemed
to get demoralized by this show of youth, vigor, prowess and raw athletic
talent, simply gave up the fight. Both struggled to the finish. However
Darrell realizing that DGIMP was within his reach, surged forward. Would
it be enough? Only the final score would tell. On 18, after watching
Pigeon's long range putting demonstrations for the previous few holes,
several players decided to also prove they were worthy. As dusk was
rapidly falling, the light was low but the discs seemed to be attracted to
the basket, like moths to a flame. Killer Knagge threw his putt (?) 129
feet hitting the post. KC, not to be out done, threw his disc from 114
feet away, hitting the outside of the basket and falling to the ground.
That pretty much summed up KC's night, as that was probably the 5th time
that had happened this round. Tallying up the results, Darrell shot a
career low 66. Puma also had a career low 68. Birdie Pigeon Taylor
after becoming the first player to have 2 birdies in a round finished
strong with a 28 on the back 9 (breaking Bad Boy Brooks record of 29) to
end up at 64.
Next week, the only DGIMP challenge to break up the dynasty will be on
Tuesday. All players are needed to answer the challenge or just one
player is need to sacrifice themselves and take Dave out drinking that
evening and keep him away from the course. Then on Thursday, is the best
ball tournament. Come join the excitement!

2006/08/18 - TWAC Stolen (again)

> (DP) > -> Jacksonville
>
> TWAC Stolen (again)
>
> Rotten Rick (and party) was up to his dastardly tricks last night at
> the Fore Palms disc golf course. Starting with a rush to start the
> game without allowing all parties proper warm up time, continuing
> with some sneaky scoring adjustments and adding in a touch of delay
> with smoke breaks and topping it off with animal noises and comments
> in the middle of a back swing, Puma Pawson fought a heroic battle to
> retain TWAC. Bushie got off to his usual woodsy, start hitting the
> pine tree on the tee shot of the first hole. Current DGIMP holder,
> Comeback Klein, narrowly avoided the trees to end up in the fairway.
> When Puma launched a beautiful tee shot to the middle of the fairway,
> Bushie started conniving plan B. Puma had a 3-stroke lead going into
> the woods when plan B was initiated. As Puma started his tee throw
> on #6, a stray comment about a cute squirrel that might be looking to
> attack was made by > "> she who shall not be named> "> (my token
> Harry Potter reference). While Puma managed to stay focused enough
> to score a 4 on #6, that just meant that plan C went into effect.
> Bushie, hoping no one would notice, claimed to have made par on that
> hole. When called out and shown each of his throws, he quickly
> changed it to a 4, claiming an > "> honest> "> mistake. Comments
> about the attacking squirrel and Puma> '> s gallery were made going
> towards #7 where sadly, Puma got distracted enough to throw his tee
> shot into the woods. Several throws later, Puma finally made it to
> the hole for a 6, Bushie claims to have made par (again) erasing
> Puma> '> s 3 shot lead in one swoop.
>
> On #8, Bushie propelled his disc mightily towards the large lonely
> pine on the right side of the fairway, only to watch it go through
> the tree and all of its branches without so much as a scratch. Puma
> regaining some composure launched a nice drive towards the middle,
> fading off to the right. Puma> '> s 2nd shot went into the woods; he
> missed the comeback putt try and finished with a four. Again Bushie
> claimed to have made par, giving him a 1-stroke lead. With Puma
> watching more carefully, Bushie folded on #9 netting a 5 with Puma
> getting a 4 to tie it back up. Comeback Klein was only a few shots
> behind and still in contention at this point. Puma turned up the
> heat on 12 making par (although a birdie was quite possible except
> for a lone tree branch getting in the way). It should be noted that
> Miller> '> s Magical bees were not seen this evening. With Puma
> warming up and Bushie struggling, plan D went into effect, slowing
> down the pace, throwing Puma rhythm off. Puma dropped a stroke on
> 14. Puma and Bushie each made par on the 15th hole after 2 very nice
> tee shots. Bushie> '> s birdie try sailed wide right and Puma> '> s
> hit the basket and fell out. On 16, Bushie made 2 very nice throws
> to once again (he claims) make par. Puma fell off the pace and was
> down by 2 strokes with 2 holes to go. Intrepidly, Puma stepped up on
> #17 knowing what he had to do. Making 2 courageous throws; Puma had
> a drop in par while Bushie made 4, leaving Bushie with a slim 1
> stroke lead with 1 hole to play. Valiantly, Puma stepped up on #18
> and made a fair throw down the left side of the fairway, trying to
> emulate his new hero, DGIMP Master Skelton. Bushie cracking under
> the intense pressure heaved his disc into the trees where it plopped
> to the ground like a dead duck. Puma having to wait for Bushie and
> his accomplice Comeback Klein (who failed to win TWAC the night
> before) as they stalled for time, taking a leisurely stroll along the
> 18th fairway. Puma made a poor 2nd throw. His 3rd throw sailed past
> the hole leaving a tough comeback 25-foot putt. When Puma> '> s putt
> again hit the basket and fell out, it was over, fait accompli.
> Bushie has a tainted victory 71 to Puma's 72. Comeback Klein
> finished with 86. The coup d'> état was complete and TWAC was once
> again a prisoner. > "> C> '> est la vie> "> , said Puma, as always,
> gracious to the end.
>
> However, a rescue mission is being planned and TWAC will not remain a
> prisoner for long. Stay tuned.

2006/08/16 - Aliens at disc golf course?

> (DP) - Jacksonville
> Aliens at disc golf course?
>
> Strange things are happening at the Fore Palms Disc Golf course.
> Some people suspect alien involvement. One disc golfer, who asked not
> to be identified, said "Yes, aliens must be involved". Another disc
> golfer, who also asked not to be identified, said "Ah yep, there them
> aliens over yonder". Yet another disc golfer said "Yea, when Clank and
> Bushman shoot career lows, Boom-Boom Klein can score in the 40's and
> then Par-Man Skelton does the same thing the very next week and Bushie
> somehow manages to hang onto TWAC, you know something alien and sinister
> is happening".
> Last night, 11 golfers came to play the disc golf course. The
> first group, led by "Good Karma" Klein, had a terrific night.
> Although Karma Klein started off with an 8 on the first hole, she
> turned up the force and ended up shooting 88. Richard "Clank" Keating
> returning from his sabbatical, looked fit and was eager to prove
> himself. Clank ended up shooting a career low 87. Carla "H454"
> Keating, attempting to prove or disprove that a lower weighted disc
> would be better for women, threw her putter most of the evening and shot
> a very consistent 97. Bushman Pike got off to a good start before
> beginning his walk about tour at the 4th hole. However after the 9th
> hole, Bushie got down to business and shot a career low 71. Bushie with
> a handicap score of 52 is eager to learn whether he has succeeded in
> winning back the DGIMP trophy from this week's holder, Karma Klein.
> The second group led by Dave "Killer Bee" Miller also had a good
> night. Darrell "SOS (sink or swim)" Gilman decided to test the
> floating capabilities of his dragon disc and heaved into the lake on
> hole 10. The dragon did learn how to swim enough to stay afloat and
> eventually drifted to the side to be recovered. SOS ended up shooting a
> 73. Bee-master Miller decided on the 12th hole that there was not
> enough excitement and threw his disc into a hornet's nest. Not content
> with stirring up a little trouble, Bee-master then went rampaging
> through the nest to retrieve it. That definitely stirred up enough
> excitement to carry the group through to the finish. Killer Bee shot a
> career low 85 with 3 stings. Eric "The Wiz" Shannon controlled his
> whizzing through out the night to shoot a near career low 81.
> The last group led by Birdie Taylor watched Dave Par-Man Skelton
> put on a show. Par-Man trying the Getaway Gilman putting technique made
> some impressive putts to shoot a career low 68 and a DGIMP leading
> handicap score of 47 (Sorry Bushman). Nick "Lumberjack" Pappas showed
> tremendous throwing technique, going from tree to tree, trying to throw
> his disc through the mighty oaks and pines that are on the course.
> Lumberjack had early success with the Comeback Klein putting technique
> until the wind picked up costing him several strokes. Lumberjack
> finally realizing twas better to avoid the trees rather than to go
> through them, ended up shooting a near career low 82. Birdie Taylor
> leading for most of the front 9, heaved his disc into the lake on hole
> 9. While most players would be disappointed, Birdie was downright giddy
> as he wanted to try out his newest invention. Birdie ran to his car and
> brought out his home made, Birdie Taylor's SDR (Submarine Disc
> Retriever). After placing the contraption in the lake, Birdie
> stealthily, silently guided his sub to the floating disc and brought it
> safely to shore. Afterwards, Birdie mentioned that although the sub is
> currently manually operated, he would be working on an improved version
> (possibly a remote controlled version?) in the upcoming weeks. On the
> very next hole, Birdie again tempted fate and threw his disc across the
> lake. This time however, the disc faded to the left and onto the beach
> (about pin high). From there he lived up to his nickname and made a
> great uphill putt to score a birdie. Birdie ended up with a 62.
> Meanwhile, Puma who was chasing Par-Man all night struggled with his
> control. Puma did manage to throw a respectable 72.
>

2006/08/09 - TWAC STOLEN!!!

(DP) Jacksonville

TWAC STOLEN!

Bushman Pike, famed for his intimate knowledge of animals, sensed a
weakness. Knowing that the Puma was hurt and also under the weather,
Bushman jumped at the opportunity to steal Puma's prized possession
(TWAC). The history of TWAC is available at www.poi.com/TWAC.htm. The
fact that Puma was also under a lot of conflicting pressure from external
sources made for a ripe opportunity. Bushman wanted no witnesses.
Realizing that he needed 1 other player to fulfill the official
requirements, Bushman enlisted the aid of his sinister assistant, Comeback
Klein. Puma due to the extreme circumstances he was working under, never
realize the danger or the trap he was in until it was too late. Yes,
Bushman had prepared everything. No official match invitation to keep the
number of witnesses to a minimum. No word of a DG event until Bushie got
ready to leave work. That was the moment in which Bushie sprung the trap.
Bushie suggested a practice round that evening. Puma, trying to process
many things at that moment, accepted, just to get Bushie out of his hair.
Later, Puma realized that he had made an obligation and was now forced to
go (unlike some people we know). Bushie was already there warming up.
Soon afterwards, Comeback arrived trapping Puma, so that there could be no
escape. Puma tried to warm up but sensed something was wrong. His
putting was off. Way off. His senses tingled. Something in the air made
him wary. His concentration wasn't on the game. Puma was having an off
night.
The game started off reasonably enough. Bushie and Puma were tied
after the first two holes. On the third hole, Puma hit a tree on his
drive but Bushie failed to capitalize. Puma failed to capitalize on the
4th and 5th holes as Bushman was on his usual walk about. Comeback Klein
was only 2 shots off the lead at this point poised to make a run for the
DGIMP trophy. The journey through the jungle on holes 6 and 7 also didn't
produce any separation for Bushie and Puma, but Comeback suffering a 7 on
the first jungle hole started fading back from the intense competition.
On 8, Comeback went straight down the middle, Bushie faded to the left,
and Puma faded to the right into trees. Bushie and Puma both recovered and
everyone walked away with a bogey. On the 9th hole, Puma had a nice drive
but it was too long. Trying to go over the trees on his second shot, Puma
tried a hammer throw. Unfortunately, while the strategy was sound, the
injured arm prevented proper execution and Puma's dragon decided to go
nesting again. Although Puma recovered his Dragon, he never was able to
recover the penalty stroke. Puma was down 1 after 9 holes.
Puma had the advantage on 10 but didn't capitalize. Bushie had a
wonderful drive on 11 but didn't capitalize. On 12, Puma's dragon went to
the left uncharacteristically but no damage was done. On 13, with Bushie
was on another walk about, while Comeback and Puma were down the middle.
This is where their sinister plan was shown in full glory. While Bushie
was wandering on the other side of the track, Comeback kept Puma
distracted enough to keep him from making par. Everyone settled for
another bogey. On 14, Bushie out drove Puma by about a foot but both
ended up with yet another bogey. On 15, with the new hole location
causing issues for Bushie, Puma was set to make his move. Puma had a
wonderful drive, setting up a reasonable approach. Bushie went way right,
going where no man has gone before. Comeback was experimenting with her
heat seeking discs had decided to forgo DGIMP and instead chose to attack
innocent people on the path. Puma's second throw set up a reasonable par
putt. Bushie launched a tremendous 2nd throw and made a tough putt to
save par and his 1 stroke advantage. The holes, 16 and 17, Puma was
unable to gain the stroke back. On 18, Puma tried to force some shots to
make up the 1 stroke. Making a heroic attempt, he missed his long bogey
putt and also missed his short comeback putt to drop another stroke. Puma
ended up with a 78, Bushie had a 76 and Comeback had a 99. Puma realized
TWAC was gone. Stolen out from underneath of him. The plan had worked to
perfection. The agony was evident as Puma tried (unsuccessfully) to run
over Bushie on his bike in the parking lot. However, Puma has vowed to
have TWAC will return home, to his rightful owner, by next week. Stay
tuned for the exciting details.

2006/08/07 - DGIMP Dreams?

(DP) - Jacksonville

Getting points is hard to do

With everyone looking forward to the best ball tournament next
Thursday, the mood was jovial at the course last night. It is no longer
easy pickings for any DG player out there. As the players practice more,
play more and get better, the competition at the course is getting
stronger. No longer can Eric Birdie Taylor or KC "Sunshine" Reeves show
up and win handily. However, neither player is standing by idle. Both
are pushing themselves to improve and become the first player to break
into the 50's.
KC pushing himself to break the 60 barrier, started off each half of
the course in fine fashion shooting four pars on both the front and back 9
holes. KC trying to take the shortest route sometimes (even if that meant
going through trees and bushes) then bogeyed three of the next four holes,
"struggling" to a score of 63. Afterwards he is reportedly quoted as
saying "I only brought my B+ game to the course this evening". Becky
"Comeback" Klein, hearing about the lack of a repeat DGIMP champion and
wanting the DGIMP trophy back, went out and made a terrific move to
reclaim the title by shooting a career low 83. Dave Skelton, the reigning
DGIMP champion extraordinaire, is also trying to become the first repeat
champ. Dave wasn't going to give the trophy up that easily. After
struggling on #5 and 6, Dave battled back to shoot a near career low 70.
Rick "Bushman" Pike after 2 straight career low rounds of 71, controlled
his walk about tendencies. Bushie started with a very good score of 18
through the first 5 holes. Bushie struggled on holes 6 through 9, giving
a slim opening to his competitors but he finished well to end with a near
career low 72. Puma Pawson struggled to control his pet dragon all night.
His dragon went nesting on #4 (luckily low enough to avoid a penalty
stroke). However, it was his putter that let him down on #5 with a 4 putt
triple bogey. After seemingly falling apart, Puma got his act together,
surprisingly. However his dragon was not done yet. His dragon then
decided it was thirsty on #8 when it veered totally off course and went
into the lake (luckily just to the edge to avoid another penalty stroke).
On #9, the dragon decided that avoiding penalty strokes wasn't much fun
and went for a swim. While his dragon floated around the lake, Puma went
to his mid-range disc. Puma was surprisingly still tied after the first 9
holes with Dave and Rick at 37. Puma then started emulating his hero KC
and started making some long-range putts. Puma par'd holes 10, 11 and 13.
Yes, Derrick also par'd 10, 11 and 13 and KC par'd 10,11, 12 and 13 but
still, both Bad Boy Brooks and Puma were on the move. Jokes about Puma's
gallery following the group and repeated attempts at distractions only
helped them to concentrate. Puma made a 62 foot birdie putt on 15 and
par'd 16 and tied KC on the back 9 with a 32. Puma ended up with a career
low 69.
Unfortunately, Puma should have been emulating Derrick "Bad Boy"
Brooks on the back 9 instead of Sunshine. BBB struggled mightily on the
front 9, shooting a 41 before really turning it on. On the back 9 holes,
Derrick made 7 pars and only 2 bogeys for a 29 giving him a career low 70.
With three new career low scores and everyone within 2 shots of their
career low scores, it was a tough night. Given that everyone wants to
make the end of the season tournament, the player ranking points are
indeed important but tough to come by.
Afterwards, the question was, who would win D-GIMP for next week.
Since this was the only currently scheduled outing this week, and several
players shot career lows or near career lows, the answer would only be
determined in the clubhouse after the scores and handicaps were tallied.
Everyone went home will images of DGIMPs dancing in their dreams.